December 1, 2019 will now be one of the most precious dates in my life – this is the day my first child was born, and this is the day my life changed forever.

Our daughter Zuzannah Rose was born at 9:24pm, right here in our nations capital; Ottawa. Sharing her birth story is very personal and emotional for me so for now, while I’m still working on writing it, I’ll tell you that even though some things didn’t go as planned, I’d say I had a very good labour and delivery adventure.

Once she was born, we were in the hospital for two days; no complications, just procedure. But honestly, we just wanted to get home already – to the comfort of our own bed, to our kitchen, and just in general out of the hospital. Don’t get me wrong, we had a private room and AMAZING care (thank you to the nurses at QCH), but as we are very self sufficient and independent, we just really wanted to take our baby home and to be home ourselves.


The first few days being home with baby were something totally new for us – neither of us really had ANY experience with this type of thing. Yes, we read books, took classes, and listened to advice from others, but honestly, every baby is different and every home/lifestyle is different. ALSO, did I mention that we were on our own – entirely. No family, no mothers, fathers, grandparents, or siblings around to help us. Although my husband took a few weeks of parental leave, he still had to go into the office a few times to complete some year end things, leaving me by myself from, sometimes, even 9am-9pm. It was all quite the learning experience though, and I don’t think I would have changed it anyways.

I was just moving at a romantic Venice gondola sail pace while he was the Eurostar

Although I had a natural birth and everything went smoothly, I was EXHAUSTED and so weak – mainly everything fell on my husband. Now, that’s not to say I was out of the picture; we were doing everything together, I was just moving at a romantic Venice gondola sail pace while he was the Eurostar. We managed to organize ourselves and the routine the best we could. Now that I think about it, although this “more difficult” time felt like an eternity, it maybe lasted about two weeks before we fell into our groove and I was back to feeling more like myself.

Now, it’s important to note here, I started feeling more life myself because I (we) made a pretty big decision at this point. The breastfeeding and pumping needed to stop. After much discussion between ourselves, and with other professionals, this was the best decision for baby and I. AGAIN, this is my personal story and opinion, but unfortunately this was not doing us any good; I was going downhill – fast. Since we made this decision, things started looking up for me on a both mental and physical perspective. It actually breaks my heart that this is the direction we had to take, but I also feel almost a sense of relief – it just wasn’t right for me, for us. And THAT’S OKAY!

Now the choice of formula and bottles started – although we had an idea of what we wanted that wasn’t necessarily what baby needed! At the hospital we were given Similac Formula – unfortunately after trying it out for a bit at home we found out that our baby just wasn’t enjoying it. We went on to trying Nestle Good Start – this worked out well for a bit too, but then we noticed it wasn’t sitting right with her either. At this point I was getting nevous – trying all these different formulas; what if we never find the right one? Next we tried Enfamil A+! It worked; she liked it, and it seemed like it was okay for her tummy. After trying one box of this, I asked my Instagram community for advice on formulas. Many moms basically had the same situations as us, and many opted for the Enfamil Gentlease Formula. So; that was on my list right away. Ta-Dah – Zuzia loved it! It was easy on her tummy, and it seemed like she enjoyed it too! {we have been using it ever since}!

In terms of bottles – before she was born we had a set of Natural Glass Avent bottles. I was determined to only use glass as I wanted to stay away from plastic/BPA etc. WELL, we used {and continue to use} our glass bottles and I love them very much, but we ended up getting some plastic ones (from Avent as well) and think they are just as great – especially at night when it’s easier holding a lighter bottle!


By January 1 (we had a one month old) we were PROs in the mommy + daddy business – or so we thought. WE GOT THIS. Yes, yes we do – but HELLO COLIC! Zuzannah cried, I cried, and I bet my husband cried (in the other room of course). Seeing baby in pain is something no one wants to go through. Of course, plans changed, and we ended up giving her drops for the colic. Before this I was determined to stay away from any sort of unnecessary medications, etc. Well, this was NECESSARY, and it actually really helped both baby and mama! Lesson learned. Make sure you add a few bottles of Infacol to your baby medicine cabinet – just in case this happens!

During this time, my husbands parental leave ended and he returned to work full time – his full time is probably the equivalent to two individuals full time. Thats the power of a demanding job as well as a workaholic personality. All good though I thought, I GOT THIS. Well, January was a very gloomy and COLD month – the days were so short and my night+day started blurring into one. Since baby was eating basically every two hours, and her milk came up sometimes after eating, I wasn’t able to lay her down right away after a feeding – this meant that we cycled through feeding, burping, cuddling, and sleeping on repeat in my arms. Weekends were my time to shine – and by whine I mean, get some sleep! Hubby took nights so I could sleep without waking every few hours! It helped, but I found that sometimes when Monday came around it just got more difficult to get up again and get used to the “system”.


January rolled into February, and February into March. Just like that we had a three month old on our hands. Her personality started coming through, and we started noticing specific little things about her that make her HER. It’s truly a magical to watch your child and see all the new faces and expressions their learning – it’s beautiful.

By this point in time, I’d say we had a few more things figured out and were starting to become more comfortable and used to all the different changes in our lives. We now had our first vaccination experience behind us, we knew how to tackle the colic, and we had learned her favourite positions to sleep and play in.

Also, most importantly by this point we had learned what her favourite formula was (and by favourite I mean one that didn’t upset her stomach), and we had figured out a bottle washing/filling system – or how we like to call it; “bottle service”.

Looking back on these first three months, I’d say we have come SUCH a long way from what we planned and anticipated. I read a number of books during my pregnancy, watched videos, spoke with other parents, but in the end (or the beginning) its never what anyone else said exactly. Sure, there are bits and pieces of information that I’ve pieced together to create one big picture for us, but not once was it solely one situation that I could entirely relate to.

The moral of this story is; yes, take all the advice you can get, read all the books you can read, but remember that things don’t go as planned with children. There are thousands of scenarios that you can experience and you honestly won’t know which one you’re about to enter until you get there. So yes, plan ahead, discuss your options and wants, but remember to keep an open mind; because starting the day you become pregnant – “plan” is only a word you will use once in a while – other than that; just enjoy moments as they come.

Stay tuned for the next post, once we reach our next milestone of month 6.


  1. I found the first three months to be the hardest with both my kids.
    They were both colicky and clingy so I had very little freedom and time for myself but we all got into a routine that worked for us.
    Enjoy motherhood hun. Best feeling in the world 🤍


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